The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn—Part 2 | Movie review

When we last saw Bella (Kristen Stewart), she was undergoing an emergency vampire transfusion while werewolf ex-suitor Jacob (Taylor Lautner) forged a psychic bond with her newborn. Now undead, she’s hungry in more ways than one. The extended Cullen clan acts as a premium baby-sitting service as she and Edward (Robert Pattinson) test their newfound stamina. “We don’t get tired,” she marvels after a roll in their new pad, which suggests the designer-living equivalent of the seven dwarves’ cottage. Bella avoids slaughtering her dad (Billy Burke) during their inevitably anguished confrontation, but trouble is brewing: The Volturi, the pretentious vampire-law keepers led by hammy Michael Sheen, think little Renesmee (who quickly grows into the grade-school-age Mackenzie Foy) is immortal. Immortal children are a no-no.

With the stage set for battle, the Cullens summon cousins from across the globe. In bringing the band back together, Breaking Dawn—Part 2 soon becomes the Twilight equivalent of an Ocean’s film. Each recruit has a talent: the element-bending vampire, the thought-clouding vampire, the electricity vampire. After three and a half movies in which nothing happened, the saga introduces mythology with an abandon bordering on free association. This belated addition (plot!) makes Bill Condon’s installment more engaging than its predecessors, though the catering-ad backdrops, pouty nonperformances and cheap-looking effects still dominate. Acceptably suspenseful, TTSBDP2 hits its stride with a spectacular brawl on ice that seems visually inspired by both Gangs of New York and Bruegel’s The Hunters in the Snow. Enjoy the beheadings while they last; after ten hours of Twilight, you may feel lobotomized yourself.