The four stages of Pride

Caption: 

Pro

Credits: 

Illustration: Ed Siemienkowicz

The pro

You have enough notches on your belt by now to know that Pride weekend is a precision event planned months in advance. The festivities kick off with an appearance at a charity function like Lambda Legal’s Ladies on the Lake boat cruise (312-663-4413) on Thursday 23 or Vital Nights, Vital Bridges’ junior board HIV/AIDS fund-raiser at Lumen (839 W Fulton Market, 312-733-2222) on Friday 24, where you and other fancy gays and lesbians will discuss important things like the new wood-slat single lounger you bought at West Elm for your deck. You need something stiff in your weekend, so you hoof it over to Wang’s (3317 N Broadway, 773-296-6800) for killer cocktails, but you can’t stay out too late because you have to be at the starting line at 8am Saturday 25 when the shotgun blasts for the annual Proud to Run 5 and 10K.

After spending the day relaxing, you skip B-town’s unbearable queues and opt for something less touristy like Jackhammer (6406 N Clark St, 773-743-5772) or the Closet (3325 N Broadway, 773-477-8533), but once again you’re not out till the wee hours because you’re in the parade on Sunday, either marching alongside whatever Democratic politico you’re supporting this year or dancing on some float (although you’re getting a bit old for that revealing underwear, don’t you think?). Your post-Pride festivities are appropriately off Halsted Street. Perhaps it’s the Big Chicks Barbecue (5024 N Sheridan Rd, 773-728-5511) or whatever electro-fabulous good times Berlin (954 W Belmont Ave, 773-348-4975) has cooked up. Monday is all about recovery, and you were smart enough to have taken the day off from work.