Heard on the street

Black people used to be a lot cooler than they are. I guess white people were, too.

Is that a tall bike or a tall guy on a regular bike?

I want to live inside “The Piña Colada Song.”

True dat, Grams!

Who pays for a hair omelette?

On your deathbed, you’re gonna want a boner.

Great, I feel less gay now!

I went with my friend to see a play about her boyfriend’s erectile dysfunction.

I can have you people over for food. I can finally poison you guys.

You could have been that smart, but you decided to fill your head with everyone who’s ever won an Oscar.

We’re balls-deep in winter right now.

My doctor is right: You are a tool.

Did I say something inappropriate? What was it? I want to know so I can keep saying it.

But you’re not my son, so we can still fuck, right?

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