“Dance Wiv Me”
Dizzee Rascal feat. Calvin Harris
Like a comic-book crossover, a peanut-butter–mouthed MC teams with the Scottish Beck to conquer the charts…and win. It went straight to No. 1 in the U.K. No wonder: Strobe-light synths do the electric slide over a Nintendo disco beat. We get Katy Perry’s faux-lezbo novelty, while the Brits are grinding each other on their Wii Fits.
Chopped, processed, stuttering, repetitive, ugly and tuneless, Bloc Party’s continued foray into aggro-electronica is the sound of saws and nail guns constructing and closing the band’s coffin in one swift go. Nary a chord in sight. Hey, guitarist, I think the other guys are trying to tell you something.
“I Know UR Girlfriend Hates Me”
What’s the point in a Kylie Minogue for hipsters, when hipsters are the only Americans salivating for Kylie Minogue? The Norwegian micro-Britney spins more sugar for her sophomore album, but the confection tastes a whole bunch like “Chewing Gum” off her debut. Annie breathily mewls in a My Little Pony voice over a bubbling trot of a beat. But the new Ashlee Simpson is more progressive.
“Need U Bad”
The Missy Elliot–produced newcomer attempts the impossible—take dub reggae into the charts. Imagine Mary J. Blige sparking up with Lee “Scratch” Perry. The recumbent rhythm won’t set feet on fire, but this sticky slow-burner melts perfectly in the summer heat.