Hey, baby

• “You’re pretty much ruining my life by not being in it.”
• “You’re pretty cute! Want to do something about it?”
• “Would I piss anyone off if I got your phone number?”
• “Man, you’re fucking beautiful.”
• “Hey, I don’t have your phone number. Why don’t you just come home with me?”

[Note: The last two worked.]
—Al, Nate, Chris and Rev D., Estelle’s (2013 W North Ave, 773-782-0450)

• “Do you want to fuck or did I just offend you?”
• “I can tell you have nice pussy lips because your lips are so pretty.”

—Aaron and Zita, Betty’s Blue Star Lounge (1600 W Grand Ave, 773-243-1699)

• “Are those space pants you’re wearing? Because your ass is out of this world.”

—Jamie, Rainbo (1150 N Damen Ave, 773-489-5999)

• [Woman in her mid-forties to greasy man in his early twenties] “Man, you smell like you haven’t showered in three days, and that really turns me on.”

—Patty, Continental (2801 W Chicago Ave, 773-292-1200)

• “You’re so beautiful. If women were snowflakes, you’d be a blizzard.”

—Cassandra, Zebra Lounge (1220 N State St, 312-642-5140)

• “You’re a total Visa, baby. You’re everywhere I want to be.”
• “If I guess how tall you are, will you go out with me?”

—Brooke, John Barleycorn (3524 N Clark St, 773-549-6000)

• [Female bartender] “Can I get you a drink?” [Man] “Can I get in your box?”
• “I’m not trying to get in your pants, I’m trying to get out of mine.”

—Rose and Danny, Bootleggers (11 W Division St, 312-266-0944)

• “My buddy here is in the White Sox.”

—Logan, Nick’s (1516 N Milwaukee Ave, 773-252-1155).