Flavors of love

Cantaloupe-flavored lube, minty condoms, cherry-tinged body paint—the number of candy-coated products at sex shops is as overwhelming as the size of those frightening rhino-sized dildos on display. Why are there so many fruity potions? I say it’s because—and I can almost hear TOC sexpert Debby Herbenick howling in protest—nether regions don’t always taste so great. Yes, our natural musk should be loved and cherished and inhaled as if it were wafts of croissants fresh out of the oven, but after a long day of hanging out in our undies, our bits can have that not-so-fresh feeling. We took a sampling of the many funk-masking flavored sex products out there for a test drive. Here’s a look at which are worth a second taste.

Candy Bra ($12 at The Pleasure Chest, 3436 N Lincoln Ave, 773-525-7151)

FLAVOR
Like SweeTarts without the tart; also similar to those rainbow-colored candy dots you get on white rolls of paper

FUN FEATURE
It’s a bra. Made out of candy. Plus, the sweets are strung on elastic, so your mammaries can be mammoth or miniscule and this thing will still fit.

IN PRACTICE
Your teeth-baring paramour will get dangerously close to your nipple while pulling ferociously to break the candy free, an activity that quickly goes from hilarious to alarming.

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