Appetite for seduction
Chicagoans speculate on how seemingly innocent foods could be beneficial in the bedroom.
School Street and Sheffield Avenue
Do you bring food into the bedroom?
J Oh, yeah. I paint chocolate on my partner’s body with brushes.
Are you an artist?
J I don’t paint anymore, but I do paint on men. I do pedicures at work and we have facial brushes and they’re really, really soft. This one client was like, “I’m going to keep them by my bed.” So I thought, Hmm, never tried that before. So, I take those brushes and I get chocolate and have fun.
I have a grocery bag full of props. Whipped cream, anyone?
J Oh, yeah. That could go anywhere. [Points to body parts] Here, here, here, here—anywhere!
How might you use this pineapple?
T Bend over! Have you ever seen Little Nicky, when they shove the pineapple up Hitler’s ass? [Begins spraying whipped cream on people] This whipped cream is mine for the night, dude!
J I’d smack someone with [the pineapple]. Boy, you could smack someone hard with that thing. It’s a pain-for-pleasure kind of thing. I love my ass being smacked.
Consider this cucumber.
J That could be used any way you want. But first you have to lube it up.
T Put it in the microwave first.
J No, cold! Cold, cold, cold!
T C’mon, be honest: Have you ever put a banana in the microwave for two minutes, and then stuck it up there?