Appetite for seduction
Chicagoans speculate on how seemingly innocent foods could be beneficial in the bedroom.
Justin Klukiewski [age withheld]
Roscoe and Halsted Streets
Have you ever considered food to be sensuous?
Tiramisu for me is very sensuous. I could take that any day over sex. I think it’s orgasmic.
I went to the grocery store and purchased some props. Tell me how you might use, say, this glazed doughnut.
Hmmm, well, I’m gay, so there’s three ways I could potentially use this glazed doughnut. One way would be to place it over someone’s nipple and lick through the hole to the nipple. It’s good for them and it’s sweet for me! The second way—well, they’d have to be really small—but I’d bring the doughnut over their penis and, you know, give them a blow job that way. Or you could also rim someone that way—again, sweet for me and pleasurable for them.
That was an easy one. This one’s more difficult: a pineapple.
[Laughs] I’d wrap a condom around it and—for someone who likes and could handle it this big—I could stick it up their ass.
Put a condom on it?
Yes, ’cause these thorny things might break off. If I could cut it, I’d slice it and with the little pineapple rings, I’d make a shish-kebab penis. Then you just go down and up and start eating them.
You’re like a culinary genius in bed, huh?
I am. The other end could be used as an ass-tickler, if you cut it off. It’s a revised French tickler of sorts.