Film strips

Varsity Blues (1999)

THE SCENE A whipped-cream-bikini–clad Ali Larter attempts to seduce Dawson, er, James Van Der Beek.
WHAT YOU’LL NEED Whipped cream, cherries and a Texas accent
DIRECTIONS The name of the game here is surprise. (Or, rather, surprise and cream that has been whipped to stiff peaks—too-soft cream dripping off your body will quickly kill the mood.) Make up some excuse to sneak away from your partner. Get naked, cover your upper bits (if you’re a lady) and your lower bits with copious amounts of whipped cream. Put cherries where nipples would be. (Men can forgo the cherries altogether or line them up on their junk so that they resemble “ants on a log.”) The rest of the night should follow a predictable course. But have plenty of ice cream in the freezer in case it doesn’t.

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