Sexcerpts

Couples Toys

Though most sex toys can be used by couples in creative, arousing ways, some toys are specifically designed with vaginal intercourse in mind.

Partner rings: Available through many in-home parties and sex boutiques, partner rings typically feature flexible c-rings that fit snugly around a man’s penis and scrotum (thus providing firm stimulation) while anchoring a small vibrating silver bullet at the base of the penis that, during vaginal intercourse, is positioned brilliantly to stimulate a woman’s glans clitoris. It’s important to note that health-care providers generally recommend that men wear c-rings for no longer than 20 minutes so as to allow blood to flow in and out of the penis without constriction. Also, men should remove rings if they feel uncomfortable, feel pain or experience bruising of the penis or scrotum. While these risks are rare, they are important to be aware of, especially for men who have thicker penises.

Vibrating condom rings: Available online as well as through some drug stores and retail chains, these are essentially smaller, tamer, disposable versions of partner rings. Vibrating condom rings typically feature one ring instead of two and fit around the base of a man’s penis. If a man is wearing a condom, then the ring slips over the condom and helps to hold it securely on the base of his penis. It simultaneously stimulates a woman’s clitoris during intercourse thanks to a small vibrating piece anchored at the base of the penis. Be aware, though, that many vibrating rings last for only 15 to 20 minutes, and many women may require additional stimulation in order to orgasm. As a reminder, these rings should be worn for no more than 20 minutes.

We-Vibe: In 2008, the We-Vibe arrived on the scene. Made of medical-grade silicone, it’s easy to clean and can be worn by a woman during vaginal intercourse. Its U shape allows one branch to stimulate a woman’s vagina (and, during intercourse, her partner’s penis) while the other branch stimulates her clitoral area and mons pubis. Though a couple may need to adjust their lovemaking a bit to use the toy, a little creativity never hurt anyone. Some couples may find that rear entry is more comfortable with the We-Vibe than missionary is, as the man’s body can uncomfortably press the toy against a woman’s pubic bone in missionary. More tips on how to pleasurably use the We-Vibe with a partner can be found in Because It Feels Good Chapter 8.

Reprint:
Excerpted from BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD by Debby Herbenick. Copyright © 2009 by Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH. Permission granted by Rodale, Inc. Available wherever books are sold.

Breasts

• A woman’s breasts are actually most sensitive on the tops and bottoms, then the sides, and finally on the areolae and nipples—information that’s surprising to many people. If you like breast play, encourage your partner to start on the outside and work his or her way in, focusing on the nipple last—if at all—and see what types of touch feel good during your own self-pleasuring.
• Just because breasts are sensitive does not mean that you want to have them touched. This may be particularly true for women who are going through hormonal changes (which can cause breast soreness or tenderness) or who have babies or young children to care for or breastfeed and who may feel as though their breasts are always being touched. It is okay to want a break from breast touching and to express that to your partner.
• Speaking of breasts, larger breasts (C and D cups) tend to be less sensitive than smaller breasts; this may at least partly explain why some women enjoy breast play and others don’t. Sensitivity also tends to decrease with breast augmentation (implants) and increase with reduction.
• Flavored nipple balms and even some lip balms can create tingling sensations that may make your breast play and kissing more fun—not to mention tastier for the licker.
• A woman’s breasts, when smooshed together, can do more than create cleavage. If you have a male partner, try putting his penis between your breasts for sex play—some women find this particularly pleasurable during foreplay, and it can make performing oral sex easier, or at least different.

Reprint:
Excerpted from BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD by Debby Herbenick. Copyright © 2009 by Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH. Permission granted by Rodale, Inc. Available wherever books are sold.