Ask Debby Herbenick | Female ejaculation, male ejaculation and penis piercings

Q I was wondering if it is possible for the average Joe, such as myself, to make extra money by mass-producing a dildo of my penis. I am not sure if I’ve got the correct size that women would buy. I measure about 7.5" long by 5.75" around.
A People will pay for just about anything (Snuggie for your dog, anyone?), so I’m guessing there are some women or men who might buy your penis-mold dildo—especially with the right marketing. After all, people buy used panties, porn-star-vulva masturbation sleeves and porn-star dildos all the time. Why not buy a dildo shaped like some random guy’s penis? Your dimensions would probably make for a well-embraced and oft-thrusted dildo. At 7.5 inches, would it be a bit long for some women’s vaginas? Yes, but then again one doesn’t have to insert the whole thing. And it may also be a bit thick for a large number of women, so packaging it with water-based lubricant would be wise. Marketing it for women or men who like a big, thick, juicy, blah blah blah penis may be something to consider. Here’s the tricky part, though: Unless you’ve got oodles of money to throw around or a venture capitalist who sees major potential in your package, it may not be worth the effort. Individual penis-casting kits cost in the $50–$100 range and those only make one dildo (Create-a-Mate, for example, starts at $59.95 at createamate.com). Do your homework and explore your market potential before going all the way.

Q Over a week ago, I had sex with a guy who had his dick pierced. I had never had sex with a pierced penis before and, as I am very tight down there and was also dry, I think the piercing cut me. The sexual intercourse was very painful. I bled quite a bit during the sex but I stopped bleeding a few hours later. Yet ever since, I cannot pee without it stinging. It has been eight days and peeing still hurts just the same as it did when it first happened. I really want to avoid going to the doctor if possible. What should I do?
A Stinging while peeing could mean several things. It could mean that you have a urinary-tract infection (UTI), which you may possibly be able to flush out by drinking loads of water (assuming it is a very mild infection). However, UTIs do often need to be treated by one’s health-care provider. The fact that the pain started with painful piercing-related sex, however, may mean that you cut or irritated your urethra (the tube that carries pee from your bladder to the outside world) or the area around it. Small cuts often take just a few days to heal so the fact that it’s been eight days means that you need to see a health-care provider. At the very least, call your doc to see what he or she recommends. You need to make sure that you don’t have an infected cut—and that if you do, it gets treated sooner rather than later.

Q A topic came up at dinner this evening, and I was wondering if you know the answer: What is the average distance that female ejaculate can travel? What is the maximum distance (is 15 feet possible)? What is the normal amount of ejaculate? What is the maximum amount of ejaculate?
A I so wish I knew the mysteries of female ejaculation, but I don’t. There have been ridiculously few solid studies of female ejaculation, and those studies that have examined real, live women who ejaculate often involved just a handful of women and their special, sexy fluids. That means that our understanding of female ejaculate is incredibly limited (and some sex researchers refuse to even use the term female ejaculate as they feel that there’s not enough evidence to suggest that the fluids women emit during sexual arousal or orgasm are similar to male ejaculate). As such, I have no idea what the average distance is that female ejaculate can travel. I don’t know if a 15-foot squirt would be possible, but I wouldn’t be shocked if it were. Some women have unusually strong pelvic-floor muscle tone, which might be able to propel fluids farther than one’s wildest dreams. As for volume, reports range from a teaspoon to a cup or more of fluid. I have no way of knowing what an average would be. A friend of a friend, though, who has had sex with an incredibly large number of women, says he has experienced a range of different types of female ejaculate: some quite light, others quite gushy and overflowing and also different colors (clear and milky) and consistencies. The most I have ever heard of is from women and men who report one-and-a-half to two cups of fluid though, of course, it’s difficult to truly know how much is coming out of one’s body unless one measures it (a task that few people embark on). If anyone has stories they would like to share of their own female ejaculation or that of a partner, I am all ears. You can also find out more about female ejaculation by reading The G Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality (Holt, $17) or Female Ejaculation and the G Spot: Not Your Mother’s Orgasm Book! (Hunter House, $16.95).

Q I’m a guy in my late twenties. The other night while having sex with my girlfriend, I was able to stay hard for well over an hour, ejaculating many, many times. The two of us were dumbfounded: Where in the world did THAT come from? Any idea on how I went from normally lasting 5–10 minutes to being able to last for hours? More importantly, how can I do it again?
A Well, that is certainly uncommon. What did you say your phone number was again? (Only kidding.) Sometimes when men are young and healthy, they can ejaculate and then maintain some degree of erection and ejaculate a second and sometimes even a third time. This ability tends to decrease with age. To ejaculate “many, many times” without losing an erection is much less common. There have been a few case studies of men who can routinely experience multiple orgasmic ejaculations without losing their erection. Based on this limited body of research, it seems that there may be something different about these men’s hormonal activity during sex (namely, they don’t seem to have the normal burst of prolactin release at orgasm). Scientists don’t yet know if this difference in prolactin causes these men’s staying power or is simply a marker of something else. In any case, it may be that you experienced some fluke that gave you a glimpse of what it feels like to keep going. Any chance you’ve started a new medication? I wish I could tell you how you can make this happen again, but I can’t. However, if you’d like to learn more about lasting longer during sex, the book The New Male Sexuality (Bantam, $17) may be helpful; it’s one of my all-time favorite sex books.