57 ways to amp up your sex life
From sexperts, TOC staffers, burlesque performers, adult toy store owners and average readers, too.
Give each other a free pass for the night. Decide it’s okay to make out with other people at a bar (the same one, or go your separate ways) as long as you end up at home together. I know a thirtyish married couple who regularly give each other free passes. Once the guy even snapped photos of his wife making out with some guy at the bar so they could laugh about it later. The key is that you each have veto power—and self-control so you don’t push past your agreed-upon limits.—TOC sexpert Debby Herbenick
Fasten on some nipple clamps. Locating the right pair of nipple clamps can be a bit of a Goldilocks exercise, but that’s part of the fun. The first pair I tried (slender, rubber-tipped and fairly lightweight) offered hardly any pinch and slid off my nipples at the slightest touch. When I upgraded to a more hardcore pair—still rubber-tipped but with a much tighter spring tension—the sensation in the moment was fantastic, but I was sore for days afterward. For me, a happy medium was an adjustable pair that could be tightened via a dial on the side of each C-clamp (similar to the press nipple clamps, $20 at mytulip.com). Connected by a chain, the clamps are unisex and can be used with a partner or solo. Try connecting one clamp to each partner during sex or just give the chain a tug at the right moment to drive one of you over the edge. —female reader, Andersonville
Fold into the origami position. Guys, start with penetration in missionary, then grab one of her legs and rest it on your shoulder. Following a few pumps, lift that same leg onto your other shoulder. Slowly lean away from her, changing your thrust angle to hit the front of her lady canal. After a few pumps here, slowly lean forward, forcing her to curl into a ball. You’ll be close enough to kiss any part of her in your lips’ reach, and you’ll achieve deep penetration as your pubic bone high-fives the little man in the boat. —male reader, Uptown
I TRIED IT!
At first this seems like the old legs-over-the-shoulder position, but leaning away really changes the penetration angle. It’s deep but focused on the front wall, which hits the right spots for me. Curling up in a ball was fun at first but got claustrophobic pretty quickly. It’s a nice intermediary position but couldn’t take me all the way. This position is a great example of how a little tweak like leaning back can really change things. It definitely inspired me to do a little tweaking on my own. —female TOC staffer
Spiff up your lube. If you like the easy cleanup of water-based lube but wish it lasted just a little longer, add a couple of drops of silicone lube to a bottle of a water-based version for a little extra longevity. —Searah Deysach, owner, Early to Bed (5232 N Sheridan Rd, 773-271-1219, early2bed.com)
Tease as you please. Offer a hint at what you have planned for after dinner: Wear a set of wrist restraints as bracelets so your partner knows you are ready to be bound. The Incoqnito Necklace ($100 at Early to Bed) is a subtle and awesome necklace that doubles as vibrating nipple clamps. Also, let your date “accidentally” peek at the mini vibrator you have stashed in your bag. —SD