57 ways to amp up your sex life

6 greatest-hits sex tips from TOC’s In & Out column

Rear him right. Many men find it exciting and even orgasmic to receive a little anal action; sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. However, if you share a dildo with your partner, you should both use new, clean condoms over it to avoid sharing bacteria or infection. And if you can’t get into a dildo that looks like a penis, then shop around for a plain dildo, a butt plug or a dildo with an animal face on it. —DH

Enlarge your penis. No, really. If a heavier man loses a solid amount of weight, he can increase his penis length. Of course the penis is not really getting longer; it’s just that there is less padding at the base. But sometimes looks are everything. —male reader

Work the G-spot. Even though the G-spot remains controversial in sex research, most researchers agree that many women find the area that’s about one to two inches inside the vagina, on the front wall, to be erotically sensitive. Some find it pleasurable to be touched on or around this area, often with a gentle but firm stimulation—whether that’s with fingers, a penis or a sex toy. If you have a partner, then after you are sufficiently aroused, lie facedown on the bed while he or she inserts one or two fingers into your vagina, stimulating the front wall of your vagina (which is now the wall closest to the mattress). If you have a male partner (or a female partner wearing a sturdy strap-on), you can also try leaning forward while you’re on top of the penis/strap-on and see if that feels good. If you don’t find a spot on your front vaginal wall that feels yummy, try somewhere else; everyone is built a little differently. —DH

Pierced with pleasure. My boyfriend and I decided to get piercings together, and I’m still shocked at what a difference it has made! One body part he pierced was his frenulum [a membrane attaching the foreskin to the glans and shaft]. In the beginning we had careful sex, not because it hurt him, but because it was catching on parts of my body. However, soon enough that went away. I used to need oral sex, a dildo or his hands in order to climax (and rarely during sex). Since getting [my clit] pierced I can have an orgasm almost immediately into sex, and just last night had three within ten minutes! Yes, the piercing hurt (but only for a second) and yes, there was some serious discomfort for a couple of weeks, but now I cannot imagine myself without it. —female reader

Munch on fruit lubes. Even though penises and vulvas are often tasty as is, a flavored lube may be a refreshing change of pace. I strongly suggest Kama Sutra’s Oil of Love (original flavor) and Climax Fruit Bomb in blue razzberry (both are available at undercovercondoms.com). The latter is so good I’d frost cupcakes with it. The Good Head (sometimes sold as Great Head and also available at mypleasure.com) flavored lubes that are largely intended for oral sex on men (thanks to some ingredients that can help numb sensation in his partner’s throat, supposedly easing the gag reflex) are also fairly tasty. —DH

Work with what you’ve got. Your partner’s average-size penis may be as good as it gets. The question, then, is how can you make this work? Perhaps you could trade off between his penis and an eight-inch dildo. Maybe you could try anal sex, which may be a tighter fit for him and a more noticeable presence for you. Or he could strap on a penis extender like Three Extra Inches ($40 at mypleasure.com), which fits over his penis to “enhance” his size and, thanks to interior texturing, his pleasure. —DH