57 ways to amp up your sex life

Flaunt the family jewels. Gently pull a long strand of pearls between your partner’s legs or wrap it around the penis multiple times to create a pearl surface you can rub in between your hands. Do this during foreplay to create a new sensation for the both of you. Be sure to use lube! —EP

Give a long, leisurely blow job. Attention, people who hate giving blow jobs: You make it far too easy for the rest of us to be heroes. The single best way to give a better BJ is to show that you enjoy it, but you can also try a few of these tricks. Rather than just bobbing up and down on him monotonously, use a combination of your mouth, tongue and hand so he never knows what’s coming next. Take him in your mouth and circle his cock with your tongue in one direction, then the other—slowly, and all from within your mouth. The combination of warmth and stimulation is unexpectedly intense. And to truly blow his mind, make sure your hand is nice and wet (with saliva or lube) and slide your palm up his shaft and over the head a few times, letting your fingers splay a little as they round over the top of his head. This takes some practice, but if you’re patient enough to figure it out, he’ll beg for it every time. —female reader, Bucktown

I TRIED IT!
These tongue-tying add-ons were actually pretty easy to execute. As the giver, what you put in through effort—the sucking/licking/swirling combo—you’ll get back in time: The duration from start to effusive finish was half of what it normally takes. My man says that above all, being enthusiastic about the “giving” is the best way to improve the “getting.” —female TOC staffer

Mount your ’light. Sure, the online reviews for the Fleshlight ($75 at mytulip.com), a handheld, fleshlike self-gratification orifice, rave of heavy-duty, convulsive orgasms, but with a little DIY tinkering, you can amp it up even more. Screw a bottle holder off your bike onto or under a desk or other wooden surface and mount your device: Your hands are now free to wrangle porn, and you’re much less distracted so you can concentrate harder on the fantasy in your head—or just focus on the incredible, oh-so-real sucking sensation of your store-bought polymer passion. —male reader, Rogers Park

Pretend you’re making really terrible porn. While showering in front of your partner, accidentally drop the soap while you say cheesy things in exaggerated tones like, “Oh, no, I dropped the soap, now I’ll have to bend over while my breasts jiggle around, so I can pick it up.” Feeling really dirty? Stick a tube of body wash or lotion between your breasts, then squeeze them together until a money shot of lotion squirts out. Got glass shower doors? Bend over and press your butt cheeks against the glass. —DH

Make a glow worm. Glow-in-the-dark condoms definitely add kink in the bedroom! Both of you will love seeing the glow worm appear and disappear. $6/three-pack of Night Light condoms at Walgreens (locations citywide).—EP