57 ways to amp up your sex life
From sexperts, TOC staffers, burlesque performers, adult toy store owners and average readers, too.
Go down on a dildo. Giving a dildo a blow job can be a real turn-on for both parties. You’d be surprised how much pleasure the recipient can receive if she is wearing a strap-on and you put some pressure on the dildo as you suck it. Not to mention the visuals can be stunning. —SD
Add a third partner. A third partner can provide spice for the very secure couple—if it’s handled right. Knowing what you want to get from the experience helps. Is it fantasy fulfillment? Novelty? A power trip? The opportunity to scratch a bisexual itch? Or the voyeurism of watching someone else please your partner? If a long-term arrangement is the goal, try to start slow and build a rapport between the three of you. Discuss terms and boundaries openly, and be clear about rules for one-on-one action between the newbie and each member of the couple. Be honest with each other and with any prospective playmates (remember: they’re people, not sex toys!). I’ve been the “third” in a couple’s sex life for two years now, and the experience has ranged from phenomenal to frustrating—often within the same weekend. But when it’s good, it’s peel-me-off-the-ceiling good for all of us. —female reader, Lakeview
Set a timer. Spend at least ten minutes doing something that normally takes you ten seconds to do. For example, lick your partner’s genitals for a full ten minutes. You can also perform a striptease, rub his penis with your breasts, give your partner a rim job, give or get a naked massage, or roll around naked together in an olive oil–laced kiddie pool. When the timer goes off, switch to something else. —DH
I TRIED IT!
While nobody on the receiving end likely ever has complained about a too-long blow job, naked massage or ravishing ball licking, the suggested ten-minute time frame can be fatiguing for the giver: By the time we finally got around to doing the deed, I was ready to lie back and catch some z’s. —female TOC staffer
Give (or get) a spanking. There’s no delicate way to say it: I like to be spanked. I love the feeling of my partner’s hand connecting with one cheek and then the other, rhythmically, at well-chosen times. I savor the tingly warmth that gathers on my reddened skin where his hand has struck me. Some people go the “over my knee like a bad girl” route, but for me the sensation of palm striking flesh works in tandem with foreplay or intercourse and just serves to increase my pleasure. I crave it because I know how the excitement will radiate through every nerve in my body. —female reader, Logan Square
Get the right size. Condom size does matter, at least to the guy. Wearing what was supposed to be a normal condom was tight and a bit uncomfortable for years but allowed me to last a ridiculously long time in the sack. After moving up to Magnums (larger sizes), I was more comfortable and enjoyed sex much more but couldn’t last nearly as long. —male TOC staffer