57 ways to amp up your sex life
From sexperts, TOC staffers, burlesque performers, adult toy store owners and average readers, too.
Steal Mr. Whiskers’s toys. Why blow your load on $20 feathery sex toys when you can buy them at a pet store like Tails in the City (1 E Delaware Pl, 312-649-0347) instead? Six bucks buys you the Carrot Top feathered cat toy that you can use to run along your partner’s vulva, penis, butt or back. —DH
Bag it. Taking your carnal carnival public can be risky, but rewarding—which is why you need to take your significant other shopping. One of you needs to wear a skirt or something equally accommodating for stealth. Then, go shopping and get a large shopping bag with your purchase, the paper kind with arching handles. When the time and location (say, a bathroom stall), is right, take your partner into said area (beware of security cameras). Remove your purchases from the bag, then have your deviant partner step into the empty bag. While you engage in some hothothot stand-up lovin’, anyone who might look under the stall (or changing room or voting booth, à la John Waters’s Pecker) will see only one set of feet and a shopping bag. —male reader, Oak Park
Chillax. During foreplay, use a Popsicle to show your male partner what you want to do to his penis. Once your mouth gets very cold, quickly do on him what you just displayed. Your mouth will warm up and you can either continue or go back to the Popsicle. The temperature change is very stimulating! —Anna, sales associate, g boutique (2131 N Damen Ave, 773-235-1234, boutiqueg.com)
Practice hip circles. Rotate your hips round and round, up and down, while kneeling, while walking and while bent over. Be sure to rotate both to the left and to the right and try to move only from the waist down; your ribs, chest and shoulders are straight and still. Bringing this skill to the bedroom will help you better reach, stroke and caress specific areas of your partner’s body, as well as your own, while making love. —EP
Park it in the rear (without fear). Why settle for the same old hole, when there’s uncharted territory there for the taking? But the pain, the panic! Early to Bed instructor Lewis Wallace, who’s also a writer, activist and sex educator, will put you at ease in a class titled Bottoms Up. The curriculum demystifies fingering, butt plugs, dildos, intercourse and everything else you wanted to know about butt play. Open to all genders. Nov 2, 7:30pm; $15, students and low income $10.