Couples hunting "hot bi babes"

There are a lot of stereotypes about communities that focus on consensual non-monogamy, such as the polyamory community and the swing community. One of the most hilarious -- and recurring -- stereotypes is that of the "hot bi babe". Everyone wants an HBB! And many outsiders basically assume that they are totally entitled to walk into that community and demand an HBB! (And then, of course, many of us women who are even remotely associated with those communities -- such as myself -- are either assumed or pressured to be an HBB, after which we get caught up in a web of stereotypes surrounding HBBs! It all gets pretty annoying, let me tell you.) Mistress Matisse has some discussion of couples seeking an HBB: It goes like this: A [member of one of these couples] posts in a public forum, complaining bitterly of their inexplicable lack of luck in finding a beautiful, loving woman who wants to share her life with said couple. "What's wrong with all the bi/poly women?" they ask. In six whole months, no one has responded to their profile and messages they send to women are ignored. They're wonderful people; why are women not lining up to join their family? The poster expects incredulous sympathy but instead receives lots of snarky remarks about their profile and a smattering of advice: Your expectations are unrealistic. Hot Bi Babes, as they are fondly and satirically called by poly people, are highly sought after and hard to find. Sharpen up your game: Post good photos of yourselves, ditch the persnickety list of requirements, and focus on what you have to offer such a woman. And, for god's sake, don't use the word sisterwife, even playfully. The trouble is, these couples frequently come into a sexual-minority community with a two-step agenda: (1) Locate Hot Bi Babe. (2) Leave. They don't bother making any non-HBB friends among the locals, so there's no one to deliver these suggestions tactfully in a private conversation. Thus, the unskilled couple, who fondly suppose themselves the answer to a bi/poly girl's dream, get defensive at the barrage of public criticism. No, we're not doing it wrong; this community is simply full of mean, ugly people. This attitude annoys the regularsall of whom do have friends. The whole forum starts piling on, and everyone forgets his/her party manners. And the bi/poly women reading it think, "Christ, what a pair of wackosbetter avoid them!"