Hey everyone! Clarisse here. I'll be resuming posting to this blog today. Just so you know, there were some bugs in how my blog archives were brought over from the previous version of this here Love Bites blog. In particular:
* Past comments were deleted -- sorry commenters!
* There are a lot of formatting errors in past entries -- particularly italics! So if you're reading a past entry in which I use italics to represent a quote, keep in mind that the whole quote might not be italicized.
I'm reblogging this request from here.
I am writing my thesis about women and girls who have rape fantasies and women who are sexually submissive/masochistic. This is a SEX POSITIVE study. The goal of my thesis is to reinforce my belief that women have a right to make decisions about their bodies and NO ONE can dictate YOUR FANTASIES for you. My ideas are entirely based on sexual liberation, empowerment by any (consensual) means necessary. BDSM as sexual expression and/or therapy. My emphasis is on the importance and the complexities of the womans consent. It is not the action that is wrong if it is done with consent, it is wrong when consent is violated. Violence can be cathartic and sexual oppression is damaging.
Please write to me about having rape fantasies or your experiences with S+M.
These entries will be used in my thesis, copying directly what you say as quotes. Please verify if you want to be anonymous or use a name. I will never reveal your real name or email address.
Send submissions to: witchbabyyy at gmail dot com- PLEASE EVERYONE REBLOG THIS LIKE CRAZY, I NEED FOR IT TO GET AROUND IN ORDER TO GET ENOUGH SUBMISSIONS! I have 30 stellar ones thus far and I want more!
I bet you thought this title was a joke. You'd be wrong. My favorite post on the subject comes from Elizabeth Pisani:
I'll have a rant about something that is somehow still shocking to me: the lengths to which loopy anti-abortion groups in the United States will go to deprive women of safe contraception and sexual health care. The target, once again, is Planned Parenthood. Over a one-week period last month, men went in to the sexual health service providers clinics in 11 cities, claiming to be sex traffickers seeking services, including abortions, for the underage girls they've enslaved. That would be a really dumb strategy for a real sex trafficker in the US, even more than in Britain, the authorities are under pressure to find the army of enslaved girls that the abolitionists conjure up at every turn.
... Planned Parenthood immediately suspected that no trafficker would be that dumb. Certainly not 11 traffickers in different cities in a week, when such a thing had never happened before. Though it smelled like a hoax, they dutifully reported the alleged trafficking to the FBI and asked for an investigation. Now loopy anti-abortionist group Live Action has admitted, with some pride, to their juvenile prank. They've released two of their undercover videos, to which they added juvenile-prank-style title screens.
Illinois has done a lot for gay civil unions lately! It's a trend across the country. Iowa unfortunately just voted in a gay marriage ban, but not before this amazing budding public speaker took the stand:
"If I was your son, Mr. Chairman, I believe I would make you very proud," Wahls confidently testified. "I'm not really so different from any of your children. My family really isn't so different from yours. After all, your family doesn't derive its sense of worth from being told by the state, 'You're married, congratulations!'
"No, the sense of family comes from the commitment we make to each other. To work through the hard times, so we can enjoy the good ones. It comes from the love that binds us. That's what makes a family. So what you're voting here isn't to change us. It's not to change our families. It's to change how the law views us. How the law treats us," he added.
Wahls also touched on the argument raised by opponents of marriage equality that gay parenting damages children. "In my 19 years, not once have I ever been confronted by an individual who realized independently that I was raised by a gay couple. And you know why? Because the sexual orientation of my parents has had zero affect on the content of my character."
(Video available at the above link as well.)
The excellent documentary "Orgasm, Inc" -- which was shown for free in 2010 at Chicago's own glorious sex-positive film series! -- will be shown again at the Gene Siskel Film Center starting next week. (I'm a little surprised that they're calling it the "first Chicago run", given that Sex+++ already screened it last year. But, you know, whatever.)
In the shocking and hilarious documentary ORGASM INC., filmmaker Liz Canner takes a job editing erotic videos for a drug trial for a pharmaceutical company. Her employer is developing what they hope will be the first Viagra drug for women that wins FDA approval to treat a new disease: Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD). Liz gains permission to film the company for her own documentary. Initially, she plans to create a movie about science and pleasure but she soon begins to suspect that her employer, along with a cadre of other medical companies, might be trying to take advantage of women (and potentially endanger their health) in pursuit of billion dollar profits. ORGASM INC. is a powerful look inside the medical industry and the marketing campaigns that are literally and figuratively reshaping our everyday lives around health, illness, desire and that ultimate moment: orgasm.
Fri 11th: 8:30 pm
Sat. 8:00 pm
Sun. 3:00 pm
Mon. 8:30 pm
Tue. 6:00 pm
Wed. 8:30 pm
Thu. 6:00 pm
Yes, it will be showing on the 14th ... making it a great date movie for sex nerds. Buy tickets here!
Relevant posts on my personal blog:
* Guilt, Failure and a Pre-Orgasmic Feminist
OkCupid, the online dating site, has a great blog called OkTrends that analyzes the various dating data OkCupid collects. This is awesome ... or was. Will it still be, now that OkCupid has been purchased by its competitor Match.com? Well, maybe not:
On April 7, 2010, OkTrends, the popular OkCupid blog that summarizes dating research, ran a story entitled "Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating." Curiously, that post appears to have been removed from the site. (Celebrating the idea, several other websites still link to where the post once lived; visitors are automatically redirected to the OkTrends landing page.) Could that be because Match.com, a long-time player in the dating game, just purchased OkCupid for $50 million in cash?
In the video, Rihanna puts herself in a number of suggestive situations, both as the dominated and the dominatrix. But rather than simply titillate, the clip is attempting to say something meaningful about Rihanna's sometimes-contentious relationship with the media, a topic that many pop stars have addressed in their videos over the years. While "S&M" doesn't make a whole lot of explicit references to images of the past, the roots of the clip run deep and are extremely eclectic.
Perez Hilton: The celebrity blogger appears in two different places in the clip, but the one that leaves the biggest impression puts Hilton on the end of a leash held by Rihanna. Dressed as a glamorous housewife and walking across a perfectly manicured lawn, Rihanna leads Hilton to a fire hydrant, where he mimes urinating, then lowers to the ground to have his belly rubbed. Hilton is a perfect example of Rihanna's complicated relationship with the media, as he has said some negative things about the singer on his blog but will still appear in the video (and in a submissive role, no less).
I like Rihanna's music. I think I've said before that I personally thought the "Russian Roulette" video was pretty hot (and I'm kind of a perverted motherfucker for thinking that, since it's especially heavy on the dark and nearly-abusive emotional imagery). I felt fairly unmoved by watching this video, though. There's this weird thing that seems to happen with a lot of S&M media, where the imagery is all ... surface, and I feel like all the actors are just acting, just creating a pretty picture, not trying to give any images that show us what S&M looks like or feels like for actual BDSMers. This even happens with media that I think might legitimately be coming from someone who's into S&M, or has an interest in representing an actual S&M relationship, like that early-2000s flick "Secretary": it was way more occupied with showing all the CRAZY SHIT THESE PEOPLE GET UP TO than it was with showing a real relationship.
Yeah. Basically, another stereotype showcase. No worse than most of what we already had, but no better, either.
Relevant posts on my personal blog:
UPDATE: I have now received email telling me that this event is still on, and email telling me that it's canceled. I'm going to go with "canceled". end update
I'm amazed that this is still on despite the weather reports, but in case you're looking for something to do tonight.
(The above image -- a postcard, showing a pinup-style girl with the text "I gained 30 pounds ... & sex has never been better!" -- is courtesy of PostSecret, the community art project to which people mail in postcards featuring secrets they've never told anyone before.)
I often think that good physical health is a widely-ignored element of good sex. I am obviously not saying that people in poor health can't have good sex (and in fact, I certainly hope they do -- more power to 'em). But it consistently amazes me how much my physical health factors into my sexuality, especially S&M. I am by no means an expert on this topic, but here are some examples:
To me, the FSD hierarchy means that certain types of sexual problems are more readily recognized as sexual dysfunctions than others, and are given a higher priority for treatment by doctors and therapists. It means that if you have some sexual dysfunctions that are not recognized as serious and real you're more likely to have to present some reason, a justification, for the dysfunction to exist in the first place and you may face barriers to satisfactory resolution.
Conversely, the FSD hierarchy means that other types of sexual dysfunctions are more readily recognized as valid health problems for which medical treatment (and insurance reimbursement) is more likely to be available and socially acceptable. It's not that all forms of FSD can or should be treated with a single magic bullet. Different types of FSD need different treatment options, including the option to not treat at all. A woman with low libido may not require a pain management program and a woman dealing with orgasm difficulties may already have an otherwise high sex drive.
However, what the hierarchy does is prioritize some women's personal experiences and feelings with regard to sexual dysfunction, but it dismisses others. Basically you get shit about having certain types of FSD but not others. The hierarchy does not necessarily mean that women with any form of FSD will be treated the way as they should be that is, with respect and dignity.