Open those f#%*ing clamshell packages
Steve Martin devoted a 1999 New Yorker story to the evils of cellophane CD packaging, but we think there’s also a special place in hell for the inventors of the impossible-to-penetrate clamshells. As you’ve no doubt learned, the cheap shears in your junk drawer are useless for slicing through the clamshell’s force field. Save Christmas morning by bringing in the big guns: The Zibra ZPCOPEN-OR Open It Universal Package Opener ($15, currently on sale for $8, on amazon.com) has “honed and angled jaws,” according to the Zibra website, wrapragecure.com, that easily cut through plastic.
But the safest way to open these buggers is with a manual can opener, says Sean Slavin, account executive at clamshell manufacturer Dordan Manufacturing in Woodstock. That’s because, as he explains, “a lot of people can’t figure out how to operate sharp objects without hurting themselves.” Just attach the can opener to the package as you would a can of beans and crank it along the top, Slavin says, and it’ll open right up. He also notes clamshells exist only to thwart would-be shoplifters’ efforts to remove an item from a package, not to make you invent new curse words. In other words, hate the player not the game.