Fake liking a gift
Luckily, my mother enforces a strict “if you don’t like it, tell me” rule when it comes to gifts, but for everyone else, I’ve become a pro at pretending I dig their presents—without lying. Here’s how:
1. Put on your best delighted expression as you’re opening the gift. That way, when you open the box to discover the horror inside, you can keep your face frozen in that maniacally happy contortion rather than summon the strength to smile.
2. Pull out the gift and make an obvious statement. Note I didn’t say compliment it—that would be a fib. Get around that by saying, “Wow, now that’s a shirt!” as you grip the gold lamé button-down. Alternatively, you can say, “This is so amazing!” You mean “amazingly, shockingly awful,” but that’s your little secret.
3. Thank the gifter. This is the most important step, because even though what this person has given you is an affront to all gift-giving holidays, they thought of you when picking out that Precious Moments figurine and that, at the very least, deserves an emphatic “thank you.”