Cheap thrills

Art
Hunting for cheap original art? Check out Art*o*mat, a retrofitted cigarette machine tucked away in the Chicago Cultural Center near its north entrance. For $5, pull the knob to get a little masterpiece, like this God Detector. Then stay for some free music—the LunchBreak performance series offers free concerts weekdays at 12:15pm. Chicago Cultural Center, 78 E Washington St at Michigan Ave (312-744-6630, www.cityofchicago.org/culturalaffairs).—Ruth Welte

Acupuncture
No fooling: New Nam Foo Ling is as cheap as it gets to undergo a pricking in the name of healing. Tucked in the back of this tiny Chinatown shop are a pair of storage closets—er, rooms—lit by fluorescent lamps and crammed with boxes and a makeshift massage table. It sounds sketchy because it is: Don't plan to drop in on Dr. Xiaomin Cao, O.M.D., if you're an acupuncture first-timer, as her $40-per-hour bedside manner isn't quite on par with the staff at exhale. However, we gotta hand it to the lady for accurately diagnosing my sinus congestion after just one peek at my gal's tongue. Just say no to the shock-wave therapy, and don't be tempted by the $20 massage unless you can handle a beating. 233 W Cermak Rd between Princeton and Wentworth Aves (312-225-0259).—Lauren Viera

Air hockey
At ESPN Zone (43 E Ohio St at Wabash Ave, 312-644-3776), getting the best deal to float your disc requires an investment: Games are paid for with cards loaded with points. Pay $6 and you get 15 points. Drop $101 and you get 700 points. In other words, an eight-point game can cost as much as $3.20 or as little as 56 cents (but you'd have to play 87.5 games to make it worth your while). Moral of the story? The more you pay, the more you get. So just make your life easier: Go to Sluggers (3540 N Clark St at Eddy St, 773-248-0055) or Diversey River Bowl (2211 W Diversey Ave at Logan Blvd, 773-227-5800), where a game costs a buck. No fuss, no muss.—Mark Sinclair

Bicycles
When you hear "police auction," you think cheap cars in dubious states of repair. Now substitute the word "cars" with "bikes." The advantage here is that a bike's condition is easier to determine by sight, plus it's a lot cheaper to fix up. The Chicago Police Department holds its monthly "general merchandise" auctions at a school on the South Side, and plenty of bikes are included in the mix. Even better, now is the time to get a deal. Demand is down in the colder months, so final selling prices are often lower. Any time of year, a mediocre department store–brand bike such as a Huffy will go for $10 to $30, says auctioneer Jeff Brown; fancier models like a Trek may start at $50 and head toward $100. "Sometimes folks are disappointed when those very high-end bikes don't go for $30, but picking up a $1,000 Cannondale for $130 is a steal," Brown says. The next two auctions are February 4 and March 11. Merchandise viewing starts at 8:30am, and the auction begins at 10am. West Side Technical Institute, 2800 S Western Ave at 28th St (773-583-3111, www.aceauctioneers.com).—Ruth Welte

Bowling
At Lincoln Square Lanes, pencil scoring is the norm, and haggling over who was supposed to mark down your brilliant spare two turns ago is half the fun. In this second-floor alley above an Ace Hardware store, a vintage mural of President Lincoln presides over the pins, showing the great emancipator sitting surreally in the middle of a tree-speckled countryside. With prices at $4 per game, and shoes for $3, you can afford to belly up to the horseshoe-shaped bar for some well-priced brews (bottles start at $3). Add to all that free live music most Friday and Saturday nights, and the whole night will spare you a trip to the ATM. 4874 N Lincoln Ave at Ainslie St (773-561-8191).—Ruth Welte

Brunch
We've obviously encountered all-you-can-eat brunches before, but never one like Joey's Brickhouse all-you-can eat (and drink) affair. Here there's no buffet, no limits and, frankly, no way this could possibly be profitable. For $12 you get as many entrées (and there are more than 35 menu items, including steak and eggs, seared tuna club sandwiches, and house-smoked lox, egg and onion scrambles) and as many beers, mimosas, Bloody Marys and glasses of wine as you can handle. If that sounds insane, that's because it is. So you better get there before Joey comes to his senses. Sat 10am–3pm. 1258 W Belmont Ave between Racine and Lakewood Aves (773-296-1300).—David Tamarkin

Car wash
Fast Eddie's Car Wash and Detail Center sure knows how to treat the ladies. Every Tuesday, gals can get their car hand-washed to a fine shine and get the interior vacuumed and wiped down for just $12. Tue 8am–7pm. 1828 W Webster Ave between Lister and Elston Aves (773-252-1113).—Jenn Thompson

Condoms
Since the Chicago Department of Health cares about your most private of parts, it offers free condoms through various clinics. But don't get greedy: While the Englewood Clinic (641 W 63rd St at Lowe Ave, 312-747-8900) kindly offered us a handful, saying it doesn't count clients' condoms, a woman at the Lakeview Clinic (2861 N Clark St at Surf St, 312-744-5507) said the cap is four to five per client. If you've used up your freebies, you can get 15 percent off condoms when you buy them in bulk from Tulip (1480 W Berwyn Ave between Clark St and Glenwood Ave, 877-70-TULIP). And if you prefer vegan latex condoms (not processed with casein, a milk-derived product used in the production of most latex condoms), they're only 35 cents each (30 cents when you buy five or more) at Early to Bed (5232 N Sheridan Rd between Berwyn and Foster Aves, 773-271-1219).—Debby Herbenick

Cooking classes
If you've exhausted your "date dish" and your "lazy dinner" but can't cough up the cash for pricey cooking classes, Mags Daley has come to the rescue. At her Gallery 37 Center for the Arts, the World Kitchen offers hands-on classes ranging from basic knife skills to planning party eats for $30, which is half of what you'll pay elsewhere. 66 E Randolph St between Wabash Ave and Garland Ct (312-742-2782, www.worldkitchenchicago.org).—Heather Shouse

Couples massage
The term couples massage usually conjures images of you and your honey in a room, on separate tables, getting massages at the same time. But at Spa Space's (161 N Canal St between Lake and Randolph Sts, 312-466-9585) version, it means you and your honey in a room, taking turns on the massage table, while the other partner learns massage techniques by a trained massage therapist. The 90-minute session offers the above for just $150. Each of you will have a turn on the table as well as a chance to practice massage techniques on your partner. If this isn't the best way to learn amazing foreplay, we don't know what is.—Debby Herbenick

Designer deals
Drink a double espresso before heading to Krista K Boutique's Shop Around the Clock sale. You'll need the energy to join the long line of early-morning bargain-hunting belles waiting for this semiannual event. Doors open at 8am, when frantic shoppers receive 50 percent off already-reduced clothing and accessories from designers such as See by Chloe, Bulga, Twelfth Street and Miguelina. The savings drop as the day goes on—but alas, fierce competition for the prettiest pieces does not. Sat 28, 8am–6pm. 3458 N Southport Ave at Cornelia Ave (773-248-1967).—Annie Tomlin

Eats under $10
Feed's (2803 W Chicago Ave at California Ave, 773-489-4600) chicken-shack décor is even better when you're stuffing your face with juicy rotisserie bird and soulful sides like fried okra for less than a Hamilton. Pick up Vietnamese banh mi sandwiches, curried sweet potatoes with coconut milk gravy and honeydew limeade for about the same dough at Fan Si Pan (1618 W Chicago Ave between Ashland and Marshfield Aves, 312-738-1405). And the broke but hungry can finally sample Rick Bayless's genius with Mexican flavors at Frontera Fresco (111 N State St, seventh floor, at Washington St, 312-781-1000)—go for the torta Cubana, chipotle steak huarache and mango limeade.—Heather Shouse

Engraving and lithography classes
Anchor Graphics it's not, but who needs a fancy space to practice an ancient art form, anyway? La Casa de la Cultura Carlos Cortez Mestizarte, a community arts center housed in the old APO Building in Pilsen, offers linoleum-engraving print-making classes Saturday mornings for the mind-poppingly low fee of $25 for six weeks, all materials and instruction included. 1440 W 18th St between Laflin and Loomis Sts (773-317-0036, www.casadelaculturamestizarte.com).—Cecilia Wong

Falafel
The last time we got food for under 25 cents was...never. Which is why it's such a mindfuck that Salam offers its very delicious, golf ball–sized specimens at 19 cents apiece. Go ahead—break a quarter.4636 N Kedzie Ave between Eastwood and Leland Aves (773-583-0776).—David Tamarkin

Fares
Human error can be a beautiful thing. Just ask the lucky schmoes who scored mistakenly priced round-trip tickets from Chicago to the U.K. for nothing (okay, they had to pay taxes, but still). Subscribe to the sporadic FareAlert newsletter, and you'll be notified when an airline webmaster screws up. www.farealert.net.—Annie Tomlin

Flowers
There's something florists don't want you to know (and were reluctant to tell us): If you're looking for high-quality yet inexpensive flowers, the best place in the city is Costco. Yep, Costco the wholesaler, the one that sells everything from tires to pianos. We were floored when we saw a bouquet of 24 roses for $14.99, with lots of colors to choose from, and the "garden bunch," a bouquet of about 60 stems, for $8.99. Of course, you need to be a member to get these prices, which will set you back about $45 a year. 2746 N Clybourn Ave at Damen Ave (773-360-2053).—Laura Baginski

Furniture
This week's magic word is in the very name of the Cheap Store, where a cavernous space (and the parking lot in warmer months) overflows with furniture and housewares, new and used. With a little looking, you can find both priceless treasures and just-get-the-job-done junk, as well as a horde of vintage pieces—we've spotted cavernous dressers for $40—in various conditions, from sparkling to suspect. 7018 S Stony Island Ave at 70th St (773-310-1741).—Ruth Welte

Guitars
It can be tricky to find a guitar at a great price—folks who deal in them are specialists, not dabblers, and they tend to know their merchandise's worth to the penny. The flip side of this expertise is that there's a healthy trade in used guitars. At Music Go Round, every time some rich kid realizes he's never going to be Hendrix and turns in his ax, you get another (cheap; starting at $400) chance at rock stardom. Walk right by the crappy Fender knockoffs on the wall—the good stuff is behind the counter. 1658 N Milwaukee Ave at Concord Pl (773-342-2460).—Ruth Welte

Hand-me-downs
Get ready to mark your calendars, tightwads. Monday is half-price day at all Unique thrift stores, which means you can pick up everything from picture frames to toaster ovens for a pittance. Some locations open at 6am, each store's stock is meticulously organized and—here's the best part—these tidy shops don't have the musty pee smell of most thrift stores. For locations, call 708-371-4242.—Annie Tomlin

Ice
Okay, so it's not just any ice. And it's not even really the ice that's so darn cheap. In fact, you provide the water and the freezer. But what would you say if we told you that you could get ice trays to make ice in the shape of not just one but ten penises for only $3.50 at g boutique? Ice like this is sure to add spice to your next cocktail, bachelorette or divorce party (if you're feeling bitter, it's particularly fun to watch the penis ice shrink as they melt). 2131 N Damen Ave at Charleston St (773-235-1234).—Debby Herbenick

Jewels
Boys, you'll get a diamond for the best price possible at the 13-floor Jeweler's Center on Wabash Avenue. For maximum savings, know what to insist on in a stone and what to let go. Certification is a must, but don't even bother with stones that are perfectly colorless or completely flawless. You (and, more importantly, she) can't tell the difference. Stick with the top ten color grades and shop in the "SI" (some inclusion) clarity category and you'll get a much less expensive gem with imperfections that only a pro with a loop can see. Another thing not to buy is that bullshit about two months'salary—it's a brilliant marketing ploy, but bad budget advice. 5 S Wabash Ave at Madison St (www.jewelerscenter.com).—Ruth Welte

Kitchen equipment
As long as you can deal with a hectic parking lot, the occasional language barrier for those not fluent in Korean and haphazard organization, Chicago Food Corp. is the city's best hookup for cooking equipment. From mandoline slicers and knives to pots, pans and rice cookers (at about half the price of national chains like Sur La Table), prices are rock bottom. 3333 N Kimball Ave at Henderson St (773-478-5566).—Heather Shouse

Language classes
There are lots of places in Chicago to take Spanish classes, and the Instituto Cervantes, ensconced in a supermodern suite in the John Hancock Center, has got to be one of the swankiest. What's startling is that it's also one of the cheapest. You'll pay $311 for 30 classroom hours in one of its intermediate classes (most other spots charge $200-plus for around half as many hours). Keep in mind that no matter where you go, you'll drop an extra $25 to $40 for textbooks. You can post an ad in the Instituto's library offering to buy 'em used, or you can check any of the textbooks out of the library itself. 875 N Michigan Ave, suite 2940, between Delaware St and Chestnut Pl (312-335-1996, www.cervantes1.org).—Ruth Welte

Libations
Nothing against Charles Shaw or Big House Red, but walking into a party with a bottle of each in your hand isn't exactly original anymore. If you really want to impress somebody—or at least disguise your cheap-ass ways—head to Discount Wine Center. There, you'll find bottles like Domaine du Tariquet's vin de pays des Cotes de Gascogne 2004 (a blend of the largely underexposed ugni-blanc and colombard varietals), Maison L'Aiglon 2004 (a French, Chablis-style chardonnay) or Doña Paula's "Los Cardos" Malbec 2004—wines that few people will recognize (or at least recognize as costing less than seven bucks). 1826 N Elston Ave between Willow and Cortland Sts (773-489-3454).—David Tamarkin

Lit
Hardcover books are pricey, but those who crave first editions have should to turn to remaindered books. They're what's left over when stores return unsold stock. The price-slashed originals—up to 65–70 percent off—show up again in places like Unabridged Bookstore (3251 N Broadway at Aldine Ave and Melrose St, 773-883-9119) and all three Powell's locations (www.powellschicago.com).—Jonathan Messinger

Lodging
Spending the night downtown isn't cheap, but there's a very affordable way to stay near the action that doesn't involve camping on a Millennium Park bench. If the idea of bunking with four to 14 other travelers doesn't give you or a visiting friend or relative pause, try the HI-Chicago in the Loop. Besides the great location and reasonable price ($37.51 per night, $25 plus tax if booked online 30 days in advance), other perks include a self-service kitchen, Internet access ($2 for 20 minutes), a pool table ($1 a game) and plenty of friendly cross-cultural company. 24 E Congress Pkwy between Wabash Ave and State St (312-360-0300 or 800-909-4776, code 244; www.hichicago.org).—Martina Sheehan

Massage
Plopping down on a padded chair beside a grocery-store checkout doesn't begin to compare to the silent serenity of a spa, but we dare you to try and find a spa that offers a neck and back massage from a licensed massage therapist for a buck a minute. We'll sacrifice a little "atmosphere" for this cheap, chill-inducing thrill at Whole Foods anytime. Visit www.wholefoodsmarket.com for locations.—Jenn Thompson

Movies
Supposedly, movie theaters don't really make money on the tickets; their profit comes from those outrageously priced snacks. If that's true, the AMC City North 14 must lose money Tuesday nights. For a measly $5, you can watch a first-run mainstream movie, and garage parking and popcorn both come free. 2600 N Western Ave at Logan Blvd (773-394-1601).—Ruth Welte

Museums
Like everything else, museum visits are getting pretty expensive these days. For major institutions like the Field Museum, Museum of Science and Industry, Adler and Shedd, expect to pay $9 to $12 for general admission alone. Add a few special exhibits on to that, plus the cost of parking, and a family of four could pay close to $100 for a day's entertainment. We recommend defraying the costs by checking out general admission museum passes from any Chicago Public Library. They're available to all Chicago residents for all major museums—all you'll need is a CPL card for checkout. Visit www.chipublib.org for CPL locations.—Martina Sheehan

Nails
Polish your digits in under an hour for a mere $28 with the manicure/pedicure special at Old Town Nails on Mondays and Tuesdays. A neighborhood fave, the shop is clean, pleasant smelling (no asphyxiating chemical stench here), and visited by a regular stream of devoted clients. Korean and English chatter mingles, sitcoms and game shows play on a TV in the back, and drying stations are scattered throughout three giant, cushy couches. Bring your own magazines, as the selection can be weak and outdated. 1433 N Wells St between Schiller St and Burton Pl (312-266-1614).—Valerie Nahmad

Overstock
Push past the Wet Seal cast-offs at clothing swap shop Plato's Closet, and you'll find a few wardrobes' worth of new designer wear. One look at the tags on these togs shows that they're a certain citrusy Bucktown boutique's leftovers. When you're paying $20 for a $200 skirt, who cares if it's past season? 2150 N Clybourn Ave between Wayne and Southport Aves (773-549-2070).—Annie Tomlin

Pancakes
Need an excuse to gobble a few carb bombs? How about a 3.5-mile run through the streets of Lincoln Park, and the fun of meeting other runners? In the Saturday Pancake Runs, there's no charge for the run or the pancakes, but the store that runs the event, Momentum, requests that you call ahead, so they know how much batter to whip up. Second Saturday of each month at 9am. 2001 N Clybourn Ave between Wayne and Lakewood Aves (773-525-7866).—Mark Sinclair

Photobooth
You may have to trek to get to Novelty Golf and Games (3650 W Devon Ave, Lincolnwood, 847-679-9434), but the reward—$2 black-and-white photo strips—is worth the effort. Since the seasonal minigolf center doesn't reopen until March, the best booth for your immediate needs is at Diversey River Bowl (2211 W Diversey Ave at Logan Blvd, 773-227-5800). Like most other city booths, the charge is $3, but its crisp, clear pictures provide perfect portraiture for persnickety cheapskates in need of photos for art projects (or for the memories).—Annie Tomlin

Quickie
Sure you can grab a quickie in a bathroom stall or your car, but stalls are dirty and backseats are crowded. Why not spread out at the Ambiance Inn & Suites? Thanks to its four-hour siesta rate, you and your "adult friend" (must be 21 or older to indulge) can grab a basic leisure room for $36 weekdays ($38 on weekends), or a tricked-out room with strobe lights, ceiling mirrors, a vibrating bed and—of course—a spa tub with room for two for $53 weekdays ($74 on weekends). That's a lot of bang for your buck. 2955 N Mannheim Rd, Franklin Park (847-455-4070).—Debby Herbenick

Rock
Next time you've got a case of the Mondays, grab your earplugs and head to Ukie Village for some cheap beer and free music that'll beat the pants off the house band anywhere else. Empty Bottle's Free Mondays series was started in July 2003 as a way to "give a little something back to the peeps," says owner Bruce Finkleman. There's hardly a lemon in the bunch, either: Sellout FMs have featured local rock favorites like the M's, Watchers and Baby Teeth. Keep an eye out for Mice Parade and Del Ray, who are likely to sell the house on February 13, and excellent local rockers Lying in States, who celebrate a record-release party February 20. 1035 N Western Ave at Cortez St (773-276-3600).—Lauren Viera

Rugs
It's time to put your foot down when it comes to high prices on floor coverings. Dozens of Oriental rugs, from 3" x 5" mats to room-size tapestries, are always 75 percent off regular prices at the Marshall Field's Furniture Outlet. The outlet is open only Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, so plan ahead and bring a long vehicle—'cause delivery costs extra. 4000 W Diversey Ave at Pulaski Ave (773-202-6300).—Annie Tomlin

Screen-printing courses
Thanks to the Uptown Multi-Cultural Art Center's generous definition of the word artist, even two-left-hands you can make one-of-a-kind fashion statements. Over the course of four Sundays, the center conducts open-door, all-materials-included workshops for anyone bearing sketches (evidence that you at least attempt to draw), and instructors show you how to build a screen-printing frame, stretch fabric across it, coat it, ink it and press it onto a T-shirt for free. Sun 3–6pm. The American Indian Center of Chicago, 1630 W Wilson Ave between Paulina St and Ashland Ave (773-561-7676, www.art-teez.org).—Cecilia Wong

Seafood
For great prices on superfresh seafood, shop where the sushi pros do: Mitsuwa Marketplace. The biggest Japanese market in the Midwest carries more than 200 varieties of seafood, with more than two dozen sashimi-grade fish (such high quality they can be eaten raw). Not only does the quality and freshness trump the farm-raised stuff most grocery stores carry, but the prices are competitive, particularly Friday through Monday, when volume is highest. 100 E Algonquin Rd, Arlington Heights (847-956-6699, www.mitsuwa.com).—Heather Shouse

Skates
With the Winter Olympics a few weeks away, the time is right for cheapskates to strap on a pair of discounted blades and make like Michelle Kwan. Triple-lutz your way to Rainbo Sports for a pair of used figure skates sold on consignment or last year's model in the clearance section. Rainbo sells custom-fit and leading-brand competitive skates to the North suburbs' top skaters at its warehouselike facility. Rainbo started out as the rink shop at the old Rainbo Ice Arena in Uptown in 1956, and kept selling blades even after that facility converted to roller skating. When the rink fell to the wrecking ball a few years ago, the shop headed to the ice rink–teeming 'burbs. Retail manager John Rohskothen, a fixture at Rainbo for almost 30 years, will set you up with a clearance pair of Riedells, SP-Teris or Don Jacksons for half-price (think $100 marked down from $200 for beginning competitive skates and $50 versus $100 for recreational blades) or a consignment pair of excellent used skates (often brought in by young local athletes who've outgrown them) for half to two-thirds off the original cost. 1440 Paddock Dr, Northbrook (847-998-1000, www.rainbosports.com).—Craig Keller

Soccer Jerseys
Spend it like Beckham—or, if you're lacking a multimillion-dollar contract with Real Madrid, Spice Girl arm candy and metrosexual modeling cover shoots, do the next best thing and head to Chicago Soccer for a Euro-or Latin-hipster soccer jersey. The one-of-a-kind, two-story shop, in biz since 1994, carries a colorful profusion of futbol gear and uniforms, including dozens of official (and a few knockoff) club and national team jerseys, from AC Milan to more Mexican teams than you could count on two feet. Kick it downstairs for the real bargains: outmoded jerseys from past seasons on sale for half price—both kid and adult sizes. We spotted Manchester United and Brazil jerseys for just $35, and Chicago Fire shirts for $30. Now if only it were warm enough to wear them. 4839 N Western Ave at Gunnison St (773-271-2255).—Craig Keller

Spices
When the daughter of the famous Penzeys spice family opened her own shops, she knew buying spices and herbs in bulk would let her pass savings along to you. Two ounces of Spice House cloves run you $4.20, while a $6 McCormick's jar contains half that amount; instead of forking over a fiver for six sticks of cinnamon at the grocery store, grab the same for $1.29 at Spice House. 1512 N Wells St between North Ave and Burton Pl (312-274-0378). 1941 Central St, Evanston (847-328-3711).—Heather Shouse

Tax assistance
Calculating a round of beers is a cinch, but wages, capital gains and dividends? If your blood doesn't freeze at the sound of those words, then you probably have a fat delinquent file with the IRS. Luckily, the Tax Assistance Program (312-409-1555, www.taxassistance.org) offers free tax-preparation services Saturdays at 23 locations citywide during tax season (Jan 28–Apr 15) for individuals and families who make up to $38,000 a year. If you make a little bit more dough than that (say, between $45,000–$75,000), but are still too stingy to dish out dollars for a private accountant, TaxHelpers (312-602-9876, www.4taxhelpers.com) will crunch numbers for you for a flat $150, which includes a rapid-refund loan at no extra fee.—Cecilia Wong

Theater tickets
Even the savviest of theater patrons forget that same-day, reduced-price tickets are available at numerous Hot Tix booths throughout the city, with weekend tickets available on Fridays. You'll be surprised at the variety of shows available, as both large theaters and small storefronts are always anxious to put a few last-minute butts in seats. It's cash only, so hit the ATM first. 72 E Randolph St; 163 E Pearson St; 9501 N Skokie Blvd, Skokie; and all Tower Records locations (www.hottix.org).—Christopher Piatt

Tire repair
Pull your car up to the curb on Wolcott Avenue to All Day Tire Shop and a few helpful gents will scurry right out, remove your injured tire, find the leak, patch it up, fill it with air, and even check and add air to your other three tires, all for just $7 (and don't forget to tip). 1900 Division St at Wolcott Ave (773-486-4359).—Jenn Thompson

Toys
Before the era of strip-mall megastores with giraffe mascots and expensive boutique toy shops, there were stores like Cut Rate Toys in every neighborhood. Outlasting them all, this no-frills Edgebrook store's been a 'hood mainstay since 1950 and continues to attract bargain-hunting parents and teachers from all over the city for deals on Thomas & Friends (30 percent off list prices), Barbie dolls and educational toys. A weekly flyer (available online) publishes especially deep discounts, sometimes on a limited stock supply. 5409 W Devon Ave at Central Ave (773-763-5740, www.cut-ratetoys.net).—Judy Sutton Taylor

Turntables
Building a vinyl collection is something every self-respecting music fan should and can do in Chicago—but how are you going to play them? For discriminating cheapskates, Lincoln Square's the Stereo Exchange, crammed with ceiling-high stacks of vintage, high-quality equipment, rises above the competition. Since you only deal with the incense-burning owner Dave Nash, who gives you contractual and personal guarantees on everything that leaves the shop, your first (or last) turntable can be the beginning of a lifelong obsession. 4743 N Western Ave between Lawrence and Leland Aves (773-784-0004, http://66.166.111.117).—Matthew Lurie

Unleaded
We can't promise you a major foreign policy shift anytime soon, but in the meantime, log on to www.chicagogasprices.com to search for the lowest pump price near you. The top 15 low and high prices around the city are posted daily to give you a quick look at the gruesome big picture and tell you which stations to applaud and which to avoid. When you need to gas up close to home, you can narrow your search by neighborhood or station name. You'll probably still cringe when you see the total price of your full tank, but at least you can save yourself from the agony of finding out later there was a cheaper offer two blocks away.—Jenn Thompson

Vibrator
Ever wondered what all the buzz was about over vibrators, but didn't want to spend more than $50 on an orgasmic experiment? Lucky for you that both Tulip (1480 W Berwyn Ave at Glenwood Ave, 877-70-TULIP) and Early to Bed (5232 N Sheridan Rd between Berwyn and Foster Aves, 773-271-1219) carry the famed Silver Bullet for only $9. It's perfect for clitoral stimulation and has a dial for multiple speeds so you can discover whether you like light or intense stimulation. But the Bullet is not just for beginners. Seasoned veterans who travel often for work only to find that they've left their favorite toy at home can stock up on a few. Leave them in your suitcases or toiletry bag and you'll be prepared for your next trip.—Debby Herbenick

View
If you're going for a great view of the city, the Hancock Center's Signature Lounge on the 96th floor is your best bet. Technically, there's no admission, though there's an unspoken assumption that if you're going to take a seat, you're going to buy, at the very least, a drink. But the Lounge beats out the Hancock Observatory (the building's official viewing area) in just about every category: You're two stories higher (96th floor versus 94th), it's open later (12:30am versus 11pm) and moneywise, even if you indulge in one of the Lounge's overpriced signature martinis, you're still coming out on top ($10–$13 versus the $9.75 admission price) because, personally, we'd rather spend our ten bucks sipping a stiff drink than fussing around on the observatory's interactive touch screens. 875 N Michigan Ave between Delaware Pl and Chestnut St (312-787-9596).—Martina Sheehan

Vinyl
The Record Dugout has an amazing selection of vintage vinyl from one end of the store to the other, but even if you stick closely to the cheap bins, you'll be able to find many fine 45s, LPs and 78s that cut across all genres. One notable item we found in the $2 stacks was an album by '50s doo-wop kings the Del Vikings, which usually goes for $300. 6055 W 63rd St at McVicker Ave (773-586-1206).—James Porter

Vintage SPECS
Funky frames are de rigueur for hipsters, but if you can't see paying upwards of $250 at trendy optical boutiques, head to Vintage Deluxe in Roscoe Village. Owner Gabrielle Sutton's well-curated cache of clothing, furniture, housewares and collectibles includes hundreds of pairs dating mostly from the mid-'50s. Prices start at $28, but Sutton estimates 90 percent of her frames cost less than $45. 1846 W Belmont Ave between Wolcott Ave and Honore St (773-529-7008, www.vintagedeluxe.com).—Chad Schlegel

X-rated movies
This town has no shortage of adult videos for rent, but there are only a few good deals when it comes to buying footage for your permanent collection. Go to Broadway Video for deals that will make your toes curl and your eyes roll back in your head—tapes are as low as $1.99 and DVDs are $4.95 and up. Tissues sold separately. 3916 N Broadway between Dakin St and Sheridan Rd (773-244-9777).—Debby Herbenick

Yoga
It ain't easy being Zen, but it's definitely affordable at the clean, cozy Moksha River West. Every Sunday, this yoga hub offers a community class that's free (mats and blocks included) and open to all. And just because it's gratis doesn't mean your asanas will suffer— certified instructors and teachers-in-training at least nine months along in their studies take turns leading the class from week to week, and sessions run for the full hour and 45 minutes. Show up early, because the 50-person-capacity studio fills up fast. Sun 1:30–3:15pm. 700 N Carpenter St at Huron St, 312-942-9642; Moksha Lakeview offers community classes Sat 3:30–5pm (3334 N Clark St at Buckingham Pl, 773-975-9642).—Cecilia Wong

Zingers
Developed by I.O. founder and the late Del Close, the Harold, a jazzlike style of long-form improvisation, is the basis on which the theater's reputation was built. There are Harold shows nearly every night on I.O.'s two stages (some of them brilliant, some just awful), but during the free shows on Wednesday nights in the I.O. Cabaret, the theater tries to put its best foot forward, offering performances by some of its top players. Wed 8pm. 3541 N Clark St at Eddy St (773-880-0199).—Cecilia Wong

Hey there, cheapskates! Tell us about your tips for shoestringing it around town. E-mail us at letters@timeoutchicago.com.