Be a better friend

Love costs everything. Just because your friend and her sig o split six months ago, and she never talks to the dude and is dating other guys does not mean you can start dating her ex. Clinical social worker Randy Holzman says timing is the most important variable here, but in drawing from our unfortunate wealth of experience, we’d argue there are wounds time won’t heal. You’re probably going to need to set your sights on someone farther from the coop.

Invest in a friendship, not a business. Let us quote from the late Notorious B.I.G.: “Mo’ money, mo’ problems.” That maxim is true especially when starting a venture with a friend. Holzman explains that though colleagues sometimes become pals, taking a relationship the opposite direction is more complicated. “The expectations change,” she says, and being financially bound to each other can cause the type of strain normally reserved for married couples.

Make a judgment call. Holzman defines friendship as a “conversation between two people.” Here’s what a friendship is not, as defined by anyone who’s received unsolicited advice: one person telling another how to live his or her life. Chillax on levying judgments and advise only when prompted; you’re a friend, not a life coach.

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