Pig-owning lesbian masseuse seeks roommate on Craigslist
Today on Craigslist, one of the strangest "rooms & shares" ads I've ever seen popped up: a 29-year-old lesbian masseuse in Logan Square seeking a roommate for "a very unique living arrangement." And by unique she means sharing an apartment with two potbellied pigs "who will be an unavoidable part of your life."
"They are intelligent, sweet, and adorable, but they also behave like pigs and so anyone who lives here must understand how to interact with them properly. That I can teach you, but it requires a certain degree of confidence around animals. Franklin, the oldest, will bully you—they are herd animals and while I am ultimately alpha, he feels the need to climb the hierarchy. If you live here, logically you are in his herd, therefore he will challenge you every so often to establish who is where in the hierarchy. He can also be very sweet and cuddle with you on the couch while you watch your favorite show. The other one is an absolute sweetheart and will probably never challenge you."
So after Porky has established his dominance over you in the domestic power structure, you two can lay around rubbing snouts and watching Girls. To misquote Tarantino, that's one charming motherfuckin' pig! And the apartment, she says, is no pigsty.
"This is a great arrangement for someone who appreciates a clean environment. Despite stereotypes, the pigs are actually very clean and I take full responsibility for any messes they create."
You have to be cool with Pig Lady's pets, yet she isn't okay with you bringing a cat or dog into the situation. ('Cause a dog is a filthy animal?) Also, she doesn't ingest pork. But if you dig on swine, she adds, that's cool; you just can't eat her pigs.