Holiday party overload—Saturday night

I know that one should never complain about being invited to parties (it's proof that people like me!) but every year, it's the same thing: the holiday party harmonic convergence, in which I have no commitments for weeks, and then a clusterfuck of invites for the same evening.

I'm not alone in this experience, right? It's that last Saturday before Christmas tomorrow, and I was feeling a little woozy at the idea of the three parties I want to attend. Can my liver and the Chicago cabbies survive it?

Then today I got an email issuing a very tardy but very charming invitation to yet another party. As though aware that an invitation less than 48 hours before the event might be rejected on sight, my friend wrote those magic words: "There will likely be some single gay men in attendance." So, sure, call me easy, call me desperate (but, as the old joke goes, just call me), but that sealed the deal. So now I am aiming for the fabled four party hat trick (What's the 4-thing equivalent of a trifecta?). The depressing part is that it makes my life slightly like the holiday crapfest Four Christmases.

So, all you would-be hosts, let me make a very early suggestion for 2009. Be bold in your party planning. Don't put your party on December 19, which will be next year's mad hella crowded party night. Shock me, thrill me, hold your party on the 12th. I promise not only to come, but to stay for more than an hour, and I won't have one eye on the clock and one hand in the air hailing a cab.