Project Throwaway, Episode 6
High camp and high drama collided last night on the runway as PR busted out it's gayest episode ever. Chris Marsh, ballyhooed runner-up from last season's show, strutted his rotund self out onto the runway in drag dressed like some sort of Nordic viking mama monstrosity and announced to the remaining 11 designers that their job would be to design for some of New York's finest drag queens. Terri was ebullient. The Columbus, Ohio resident loves herself some drag queens apparently. So out onto the runway bounded the likes of Hedda Lettuce, Sherri Vine, Annida Greenkard, Miss Understood, Sharon Needles, Farrah Moans, Acid Betty and others. The designers oohed and aahed (quite frankly a few looked confused) and picked their models before being whisked away to consult with them before being given a shopping excursion at Mood with a $200 budget. The winner gets immunity.
As a funny aside, as Chris and Heidi exited the runway he suggested the two grab some German food. "Ah," Heidi squealed. "Beer and pretzels!"
I have to say, the most clever quips in this episode came at the end from the judges who, quite frankly, have ramped the snarky criticisms up a notch this year. Our crew was hoping for a little more drag bitchiness like when Miss Understood quipped, "If you get Hedda Lettuce you'll have to put a bag over her face." Hedda, for the two straight people reading this, is a very well-known NYC drag performer who does a gig in P-Town each summer. She also ran for president.
Back at Parsons, the designers engaged in some tart-tongued banter. Blayne and Stella (these two deserve a Sonny and Cher-type variety show) and a few of the others started busting out the "licious" suffix, i.e. everything became booty-licious or girlie-licious. Joe seemed a little daunted by the task ahead. "I have to approach it as if I have to make a Halloween costume for my daughter." We got Jerell's life story which we at home thought for sure meant he was either going to win or get the boot (Neither happened. Damn those Bravo red herrings!).
Next up, the drag queens came out as (gasp!) boys to get fitted while Chris Marsh and Tim Gunn made the rounds. It was a little surreal. Acid Betty as a boy is hot! Hedda, who was partnered with Suede, was not happy with her design. "I'm a little Godzilla-ish." Gunn seemed concerned with Blaine's dress for Miss Understood. "It looks a like a pterodactyl out of a gay Jurassic Park!" But Chris loved Joe's design for Varla Jean Merman, a performer who pays homage to Ann Margaret circa the '60s. "She'll die," he quipped. "She'll want to run out with that." Chris and Tim urge Suede to put Hedda in her place. The two later kiss and makeup. The best line delivered in the workroom came from Stella: "These broads aren't classy. Most of them wear really gaudy shit on the runway."
Runway time! Our gays we're super-excited to see who the celebrity judge would be. It was RuPaul and she was introduced with...absolutely no fanfare whatsoever?! The camera simply panned over her sitting with Michael Kors and Nina Garcia. There was no fabulous entrance or nothing. Quite frankly, girlfriend looked a little tired. We saw her here at the Reeling Lesbian and Gay International Film Festival last November and she looked amazing strutting up and down the aisle at the Lakeshore Theater. Boo to her PR entrance!
The runway comments were flying fast and furiously. We caught a few:
Keith's: "Did a dingo eat your baby mate?" - RuPaul
Terri's: "I love it. It's a cross between Kiss heavy metal and Mahogany." - Nina Garcia
Joe's: "You definitely succeeded in showing off the assets." - Michael Kors
Jerell's: I'm surprised this is from you. It looks like Thoroughly Modern Millie under the sea." - Michael Kors
Daniel's: "You gotta make them coins honey." - RuPaul
To our SHOCK, the top three contestants (Terri, Joe, Korto) were all straight and the bottom three contestants (Daniel, Keith, Jerell) were all gay.
We picked Terri as the winner. Her design for Acid Betty looked like an amped-up, outer space, Reagan era concoction that Grace Jones would've creamed over.
Actual Winner: Joe
We picked Daniel as the loser. This boy just hasn't brought it. He must still be dreaming about Wesley (who was booted off in episode 2). According to Towleroad.com the two have already exchanged rings! They'll have all the time in the world now since Daniel was officially given the boot by the judges. It was a tear-filled farewell.
Keith bawled. Daniel bawled. And then there were 10.