Taxed out

The witty and charming ladies and gents over at Schadenfreude are attempting to come up with a list of 500 ideas for alternative taxes to compliment Mayor Daley's proposed taxes on bottled water, booze and ugly babies (I may have made that last one up). Of course, now that Stroger and Co. are discussing ways that they too might squeeze blood from your stones (starting with a proposed $4 per phone line tax), I'm expecting Schadenfreude.net will start getting lots of incoming links from co.cook.il.us.

I'd propose the following:

* $2 for every blues band that covers "Sweet Home Chicago" and $5 for every instance that occurs during BluesFest
* $5 for every time Ozzie Guillen's post-game interview does not make sense, $2 if it still seems oddly inspirational
* $10 for every use of the phrase "It is what it is" or "It was what it was" (Tom Tunney, pay the piper)
* $100 when some jackass plays anything by Sublime on a jukebox; $200; if he or she was old enough to remember when it was a hit the first time

Drop your ideas on 'em here.