The Nooner | Chicago news and beyond | August 17, 2011

Portugal. The Man offered to send a pile of doughnuts to the CPD.

SPOCK & ROLL A massive Star Trek junkie, Gourley, second from right, tattooed the Starfleet insignia over his left nipple.

Photo: Emily Dyan Ibarra

The Nooner: Chicago news and beyond.
In today’s news, we’ve got the happy return of a band's stolen stuff.

Portugal. That’s Awesome
You remember when Lolla band Portugal. The Man had their van, with all their gear in it, stolen? And then the van was found, sans-gear? Well, huzzah, the Chicago Police Department found and recovered about $80,000 worth of P.TM’s gear. Where’d the CPD find it? Swap-O-Rama. The grateful band has offered to send Chicago’s Finest “a pile of doughnuts” for their hard work.

Jose Canseco’s twitter feed is amazing
You know, I think Twitter feed @JoseCanseco really is baseball star Jose Canseco. And he’s a crazy Twitter genius. My favorite tweets include his claim that his tombstone will just read “Baseball,” his declaration that “someone should open up a hug store,” and the day he just tweeted the word “bats.” Here are the top-voted Canseco tweets. But the full feed is worth reading, too.

Illinois denies tax exemptions for several hospitals
To qualify for property-tax exemptions, a nonprofit hospital must provide sufficient free and discounted services to low-income patients. In an unusual move, The Illinois Department of Revenue has announced that some local nonprofit care centers—including Northwestern Memorial's Prentice Women's Hospital in the Gold Coast and Edward Hospital in Naperville—didn’t make the grade. The hospitals will appeal, but if they lose, they’ll pay millions in additional taxes. Something tells me that Gold Coast property taxes are a doozy.

Readers, I got you a deal
Probably because we love bicycles so much, the Active Transportation Alliance is offering a $5-off discount code for you, the faithful readers of The Nooner (Hi, Mom!). The Four-Star Bike Tour, which offers four routes of different lengths for you to choose from, takes place on Sunday, Aug 28. Visit fourstarbiketour.org and register with coupon code TIMEOOUT5, and you can get in for $25. That includes a ride T-shirt, rest-stops and live entertainment at the end-of-race afterparty.

CTA plans bus rapid transit. For realz this time.
In the past few years, I’ve heard a lot of talk about bringing bus rapid transit to Chicago, but I’ve not seen a lot of progress. Today, advocate group Metropolitan Planning Council released a plan detailing how Chicago could host the first true bus rapid transit system in the U.S. The idea behind bus rapid transit is that a combination of bus-only lanes, fewer total stops, traffic lights that change to let buses through and riders pre-paying (in the manner of El stations) before the bus arrives could as much as double transit speed. The CTA’s version of BRT is less ambitious, but at least it exists. CTA spokespeople say they are planning three BRT routes—along Western Ave, Jeffery Blvd, and an east-west route in the Loop. But they’re not planning on including that many bells and whistles (e.g. the 24-hours-a-day bus-only lanes). Hopefully it'll work so well that they'll ramp up the program in the future.

Where Vince from Entourage got his straight-edge
Punk forums have been freaking out since Sunday night when Minor Threat's "Minor Threat" was used in an episode of Entourage. Was the apparent sacrilege another case of corporate appropriation from the underground, like Nike's unathorized use of a Minor Threat album cover for a skate fest logo? Turns out, as Dischord Records rep Alec Bourgeois explains, the Minor Threat Entourage song placement was cleared and authorized. No word on how much the legendary D.C. punk band got paid, but we hope it was a shitload.