Heard on the street, January 13, 2010, edition
Funny things overheard in Chicago.
If I were a porn star, my name would be e.e. Cummings.
No guy with a dangly earring is gonna treat you right.
I was hanging around trannies and I thought, What if everyone thinks I’m a tranny too?
There’s lots of boobs. And Keanu is like, “Whoa, boobs.” It’s classic.
She don’t need no man. She’s got welfare.
Just imagine what they could do with a butt plug.
Renaissance painters would do anything to see tits.
Is that werewolf eating out some chick?
Pregnancy is like getting hit in the balls for, like, nine straight months.
I want a bad boy. I do.
My parents love Fleetwood Mac. I may have been conceived after a Fleetwood Mac concert.
I do hope I come back from the casino with an STD!
Andrew McCarthy is a pussy.
I like my beers like I like my womens: cheap.