Heard on the street, July 14, 2011, edition
Funny quotes overheard in Chicago
Since when did lesbians start looking like ’90s emo boys?
We planned to invite 75 people until I met her communist/socialist friends last Saturday.
Kind of like ShowBiz Pizza—but with war.
Celtic music is for fat guys and women who wear crushed velvet.
I’m being investigated by both the FBI and the Secret Service, so it’s not the most opportune time for me to fall in love.
Making babies sexy is God’s work.
Her apartment is large, about 3,000 square feet, but I don’t know if it can hold a teenager and a sex maniac.
I can’t wait to play badminton with Tiffany’s grandma!
What up, miracle on ice?
I remember getting the shit scared out of me by a Columbo episode.