Heard on the street, December 8, 2011, edition
Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.
You would think a NASCAR wedding would be forever.
Sorry, I just put my breast on your head.
The only thing tight about me is my wallet.
Too fuckin’ bad about the Constitution.
It’s exactly like getting your period, except sparkly.
Hooters gets its own stoplight?
I get claustrophobic in seat belts.
It’s so hard to find a body stocking with a crotch. It’s absurd!
Churros seem like they’re phallic doughnuts.
I’d date the fuck out of that girl.
So I just went to the bathroom to check my butt and false alarm.
I thought I was supposed to be having relationships. Little did I know I was supposed to be fucking my way to 30.