Heard on the street, May 24, 2012, edition
Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.
My kids…they grown. They warriors and shit.
I had to pull a dingleberry out of my cat’s asshole at 4:30 in the morning!
Honey, I have enough Botox in my face to kill a small child.
The video for Fiona Apple’s “Criminal” was loosely based on my bar mitzvah.
It’s like anal-bleaching strips for your teeth.
He is a hardcore street thug, but he wears a diamond-encrusted kazoo around his neck.
That whole thing was a hybrid of Belle and Sebastian and the movie Kids.
You need to stop talking to me ’cause I’m ’bout to break this thing off in your ass.
I had to draw Santa’s dick; it was rough.
In case you’re like, “Who the fuck?”—it’s me.
I don’t get the Purple Line.