Heard on the street, July 19, 2012

I promise that you’re not going insane. You’d be far more interesting if you were going insane.

If you are going to wear a kilt, you can’t get all defensive about it.

Imagine if I lived in the Hancock. You could come over and watch Poltergeist III!

How do you talk to a boy who isn’t in the computer?

I swallow. If you’re gonna do something, don’t half-ass it.

You know what I love about little dogs? Little poos.

When my mom was blind she wanted a swimsuit, and I had to buy her one from the Delta Burke collection.

Only in Boystown will you see a guy riding a Harley wearing a Madonna T-shirt.

I drank a Red Bull and put makeup on for this?

His e-mail address was TaintToucher22.