Heard on the street, August 2, 2012, edition
Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.
I asked Jeeves if they still make Gatorade gum.
Exhaustion isn’t my thing. I’m more of an ulcers type of gal.
I always have a weird taste in my mouth. It’s called bile.
Oh, my God, I feel like we’re in Cher’s bedroom.
“I replaced your melatonin with roofies.” “I don’t care as long as I go to sleep.”
I’d get fired before I’d fuck you.
That ginger had the most hideous mustache.
He looks like a mutt dog Pierce Brosnan.
I could be sweet as sugar or hard as hell—you’d still find a reason to go off!
We’re listening to ’90s white-person reggae.
All I think about is suicide and pussy.
You got to suck dick around here to get ice.