Heard on the street, August 9, 2012, edition
Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.
They don’t give scholarships for the shit I want to do.
We’re not a dive bar. We’re a neighborhood bar.
Stop envisioning my untimely demise!
C’mon, man! I’m partially your girl.
“It’s not sexism. It’s appreciation.” “Okay, Hugh Hefner.”
You should never wear a T-shirt with a picture of someone who’s hotter than you on it.
That’s where people poop on the street in the day.
My spirit animal is the hog.
I get hit on at work, and I’m like, “Just wanna get my carrots out of the fridge, man.”
You would be an idiot not to order a Crave Crate. As long as these prices I’m seeing are correct, that’s 69 cents a slider.
Melissa let me sign a titty once in Texas.