Pat Gilliand, 46

Photo: Andrew Nawrocki

Chicago Riverwalk

So what’s happening? Just relaxing on my way back to the office. I’m a legal assistant. It’s paralegal work: research, filing briefs and motions, preparing orders.

Sounds…tedious. No, the criminal mind is a fascinating thing! It’s always interesting to see what makes people tick—or snap. I have a very interesting murder case going on right now.

Is it Drew Peterson? No, but it amazes me to see what people think they can get away with. Peterson might be an example of that. I’m not as fascinated by death or murder as I am by white-collar crime: embezzling money, washing checks, identity theft. The things people think they can get away with!

Ever consider what you could get away with? No. I’m too cute to go to jail. [Laughs]

Have you ever been the victim of a crime? I have. Before they built up the West Loop, the area over by Harpo, I worked at a criminal defense firm. Near the office was a transient hotel. I was on my way to work, walked past the door of the hotel just as a schizophrenic was walking out, and he decked me. Luckily a postal worker witnessed it, intervened and called police.

Any fall plans? A much-needed vacation! I need a break from the violence of the city. I’d like to hear some pleasant news for a change.

And where is this Eden you’re escaping to? Vegas! You’re certainly not worrying about everyday crime. You’re worrying about winning—and losing—money.