Heard on the street, November 22, 2012, edition
Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.
I don’t want to tell some guy that his wife has a muffin top.
My appletini is my laxative.
Are your arteries gurgling?
Please! She was born to be a fag hag, with the hair and the martinis.
“Your bladder must think you’re a bitch.” “More like a twat.”
FUPA? I’m going to have to confess my ignorance.
People who take the elevator from the first floor to the second floor are such dicks.
No, this is a regular video store. If you want to put a dildo inside of you, you gotta go somewhere else.
I have to keep doing private sessions on Spotify so people don’t know that I listen to Demi Lovato 16 times a day.
Did someone put Visine in my pizza?
The people on Hoarders are just misunderstood.