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I accused you of having AIDS and farted in your hand and you’re still calling me to hang out?
You could turn a walrus into an earthworm with the amount of Spanx I wear.
Should I pack the orbs with the dreamcatchers and the crystals?
If you wanna pick your nose, that’s cool. Just don’t do it in front of people.
This shirt is made of that material that makes your armpits smell like a goat farm.
The first time I smoked was when I was nine...at Pizza Hut.
Sugar free, dairy free, gluten free—so what’s in it?
That part with the circle jerk really sold me on the movie again.
Sorry about the cult dinner place.
I’ve got nubbins for legs because my parents were losers!